Funeral Etiquette

It is an unfortunate fact of life that most of us will attend funerals throughout our lives. Even as it is a shared experience for humanity, many of us have reservations about attending a funeral and are unsure of how we should act, what we should do, and even whether or not we should attend.

If you are wondering whether or not to attend a funeral for someone you know, and your presence would not upset their family, then the answer is yes. You don’t need to have the right words to say or to be anxious about your attire. Your presence will mean a great deal to those who are grieving.

Funerals often catch people when they are not at their best. We have provided a list of basic guidelines that will help you to follow the appropriate etiquette and be there for your loved ones, regardless of the type of service:

1. Arrive Early and Get Settled – Plan to arrive at the venue at least 15-30 minutes early to allow time for parking, signing the guest book, and finding your way to your seat. Before the funeral is not the time to find the deceased’s family – that can wait until after the service.
2. Dress and Act Conservatively – A general rule is that you don’t want to draw attention to yourself. While it is not necessary to wear black, flashy colors are discouraged. Ensure that your cell phone is silenced before entering the venue.
3. Offer Condolences After the Service – Following the funeral service is when you will want to find the deceased’s loved ones to offer your condolences. Keep it short and concise, and don’t worry about stumbling over your words. The goal is to let them know that you care about and are there to support them.
4. Observing Differences in Tradition – Some people are afraid of funerals because they follow a different religion or come from a different culture than the deceased’s family. You need not worry about this. The funeral director will ensure that guests understand what to do at the right time, and it is appropriate to quietly observe during any parts of the ceremony that you may not feel comfortable participating in.
5. Gifts – Though not expected, it is common for people to send or bring flowers to the funeral. If you are close with the family, it can also be appropriate to provide a gift basket with food. However, there is no reason to feel pressured to bring a gift.
6. Read the obituary – Many questions can be answered by reading the obituary found in the funeral program provided by the family. Reading the funeral program can reduce questions and stress on the family. Click here to view some of our funeral programs to see an example of information you may find in a funeral program.

The funeral process can seem mysterious and awkward for many people, but the truth is that it is one of the most natural and normal parts of life, and we have all felt these things.

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